Swan Attack and the New Ford Jimbo

For all you dumbasses out there this isn't the attack I was
talking about.  But it's reminiscent of the attack that
happened to me.

I read today that in America somewhere a man was killed in a swan attack.  Wow, that's about as strange as strange gets.  No one in their right mind will ever suspect that a person can actually be killed by a swan of all things.  It's at this point that I'd usually make a few heartless jokes ridiculing 'stupid Americans' by getting themselves killed by things like swans.  I would normally get straight into that but I know first hand how violent swans can be.

One summer I went to Galway on a camping trip, and outside the camp site there was a swan in the area.  In fact you could see it from where my tent was.  For some reason it always stood beside this red bucket whenever it wasn't in the water.  The swan for most days was really friendly, but then it would be friendly to people who fed it wouldn't it?  One day I decided to see what was in the bucket when my curiosity got the better of me.  Not the most intelligent decision of my life I know.  Anyway, I approached the red bucket and the swan went from being the friendly tourist attraction (as it were) to a seething white bird of death.  It chased me all around the camp site, and I gotta tell you, I never ran so fast in my life.  As it happens the red bucket was just an empty bucket.

Your cuteness doesn't fool me for one second you
white killing machine you!

I came out of that unscathed apart from a lot of ridicule following that incident, but when I read that article on BBC news website today I didn't think 'dumbass American'.  I thought, 'Yip, that can happen, I know first hand, and it's no laughing matter'.  If you doubt me, then I defy you to antagonise a swan and you won't get that swan to attack you.  I defy you to tell me that if the swan catches up to you that you wont come out of it badly.

In other news, following a conversation with my house mates I have decided to write a letter to Ford to ask them to name their next new car the 'Ford Jimbo'.  It's gonna take some time to figure out what exactly to say in this letter so tomorrow's post will be my letter that I have emailed to Ford.  If I get a reply I'll post that up when I get it as well.  After all, a car with a cool name is just a car.  A car called the 'Ford Jimbo' is an old friend.

Here's hoping it'll look something like this.

Coming soon, the new Ford Jimbo